Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day - A Day Of Freedom?

Today is Mother's Day and I got the usual beautiful cards, hugs, kisses and thank yous.  The rest of the day follows my usual routine- cooking, laundry, cleaning and scheduling some me time somewhere.  I do admit to using Mother's Day as a way to guilt my husband and kids into doing extra household chores, but that is my inalienable right once a year. 

I tend to get reflective on my role as a mother today.  I read a great opinion piece by Lenore Skenazy .   She maintains that our generation has turned the definition of a mother into the "lady who watches over her children every single second of the day lest they get abducted, bored or disappointed."  She further pokes fun of how moms today are "expected to be physically, mentally, socially, emotionally and electronically attached to our kids."  This really is an impossible task, but many mothers fall prey to this thinking.  Even if you choose only one or two of the impossible attachments, you are still in the trap.  Moreover, it is okay for your kids to get a few disappointments and feel a little bored.  At the end of the day, I want to raise kids who have the ability to deal with their boredom and disappointment.  If I jump in and mange it all, they will never learn how.  Plus, it is hubris to think that I can control everything.  I try to help them through their road bumps with love and concern, but I do not have to solve everything.  Maybe if they see that I do not obligate myself to an impossible standard, they learn resiliency.  No, I am not the perfect mother, but I keep trying to be the best I can be in each moment.

Sometimes, I long for a day that I do not have to cook, do laundry and clean.  Then, I realize that when that day comes, I may be wishing for the hectic, crazy pace.  So, instead I choose gratitude for this Mother's Day and hope to celebrate next year with even more gratitude.

Stay healthy & well,

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